wild love.

  [21 months/ 3-29-16]

when he tugged on the plant leaf in curiosity and tipped the ceramic planter onto the hard wood floor this morning, i almost broke his spirit along with that old planter. soil scattered wide and two pieces of ceramic. i looked at his eyes to see if he had recognized what had been done. with a harsh tone, i told him that he broke it. YAH he said half smiling, not knowing what else to say. i pressed hard to hold back any further words in my impatience. you see, he wasn’t supposed to be home with me today. today was an assigned daycare day. a break for mama to accomplish things. but he was feeling under the weather. so mama got a sidekick. the kind that fling food at mealtimes and cling close at cleaning time and beg to be a butterfly in the breeze, outside 24/7. already upset at the detour in plans, i found myself low on tolerating his toddler antics and the curiosity that cracked the house plant.

but i slowed down.

“s l o w i t d o w n” i internalized.

because when i pause, when i go half as fast, i notice twice as much.

and so i went to the sink to dump out the spilled soil. i looked closely at the broken pottery and reconsidered my plan to trash it as i fumbled through the junk drawer for crazy glue. below me i heard a “mama mama!” and when i glanced towards him, he showed me the children’s broom pan he had dug out of the bin we keep in reach just for them. he was proud, and i realized in that moment, i didn’t need to speak any harsh words.  a reflex, does it do anyone a bit of good? we’re all just doing the best we know how, one damned step at a time. And that wisdom rings true, the wisdom to only speak words that make souls stronger: “When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger.“ Ephesians 4:29 (NCV).

his pride, his stance with his broom pan — it was the grace that swept me into a new realm. I knelt and smiled and praised and loved wild. We searched for the missing broom piece. and without any prompting, I saw him walk over to the mess and get down to business, scooping the dirt with the pan — the best he knew how. And I encouraged him wildly.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Mom Life Now

Finding beauty in the everyday living.

catching days

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." Annie Dillard

wonderment, etc

life, motherhood, and everything that comes with broken hallelujahs

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

%d bloggers like this: